Dependency and Bull(dog) S***

I love my dogs to death – I love them enough to pick up their smelly poop. Unfortunately (ok, let’s be honest sometimes semi-fortunately) I can’t. Due to not being able to get out of my wheelchair or bend down, that is a duty (Ha! See what I did there?) I can’t do.

Why am I writing a post about picking up dog crap? Well, when people hear that I have dogs, they wonder about how I handle the logistics that caring for dogs entails.

Like almost every aspect of my life, I have help. I typically have my boyfriend to feed, wash and play fetch with them, but on other occasions I hire help or ask friends.

I am extremely grateful for the support system I have, but I would be lying if needing help didn’t make me sad sometimes – especially when it comes to my dogs, relationship and my future children. I would give anything to be able to be more physically involved even if it meant picking up dog poop or doing the dishes. Sometimes I’m afraid that my contribution isn’t enough. I worry that my dogs can’t understand that I love them even though I can’t run around with them, that my boyfriend will grow tired of always doing the dishes or that I won’t be able comfort my future children.

As I’m writing this, I realize that I don’t have a resolution, but honestly, I don’t think there is one. All I can do is trust others around me and continue to discovering my self worth.

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